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I've become a lot more cynical. I am very mistrusting of others, even my own family. I'm brutally honest about everything, with no regard for how the other party might feel, and usually wind up stopping people from talking. I do not speak up, ever, especially not for my own sake. People have made so many assumptions about me, and all I can do is play along because I don't have the heart to speak up. But worst of all, I've stopped expressing myself. If I'm in emotional pain, I hold it in until I am by myself. If I'm angry, I simply go off and bottle that anger up. If someone is abusing me physically or mentally, I don't do anything to stop them, let alone show I'm in pain.
I know why. It's because I feel inferior to everyone. EVERYONE. And nobody, no matter how much I hate them, should be bothered by me or my own pathetic problems when they probably have their own problems to be worrying about (reminder, you don't have to be reading this). I've stopped caring what others think of me, but I wind up caring too much how others should be.
